


Silencing the Storm

by robotpop



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-06-21
Updated: 2011-08-30
Packaged: 2017-10-20 14:59:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 13,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/213996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/robotpop/pseuds/robotpop
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sollux has a shitty life, and he finds that a certain Dave Strider makes it tolerable. An AU in which all characters are human, but the supernatural remains.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Sollux didn’t want to get out of bed and answer the door. Actually, it wasn’t his bed, it was his couch, but for all intents and purposes it was not something he was willing to leave. The voices were like a head rush when he wanted to sleep, dizzying him and keeping him from slumber. They had just about faded out, too. Groaning, he got up. He was in his clothes, but he knew he looked considerably rumpled and he was sure his hair was doing his current state perfect justice. Everything was abuzz in his head. The undercurrent of mumbling and chattering and groaning floated him on a gentle stream of calm as he shuffled toward the door. When he was tired enough, the voices worked that way. It was almost nice.

What wasn’t nice was laying eyes upon the very last person he wanted to see when he opened the door.

“Hi Sollux!” John Egbert’s irritating trill rang at him like a knife might pierce his skull directly through his orbits. He kept his face straight, however, noticing that John was not alone—not only that, but he was accompanied by someone who he had never seen before. He raised an eyebrow, and the blonde raised an eyebrow right back at him from behind ridiculously large aviator shades. Whoever it was didn’t look like he had the slightest interest in their visit.

“Hey, John. What can I do for you?” He tried not to sound like he was sighing the entire sentence, folding his arms and leaning against the doorway. He didn’t actually know John very well, but it wasn’t as though he was about to start being overly polite—especially given the circumstances of their meeting. And despite the fact that John was practically throwing the already painful memory back in his face to salt the wounds he didn’t even know he had—he tried to forget it for a second for the sake of normal human conversation.

“Well, Karkat said you’re pretty good at this whole fortune telling thing, and since you actually have a sign on your door that says you do it, well…Dave and I were wondering if maybe you could tell ours?” John looked so hopeful it was putrefying. And nothing appealed to Sollux more so now than putrefaction—something he would rather be participating in than this.

“It’s not fortune telling, numbnuts. I predict your death, something that most idiots can’t seem to understand the full consequence of. Five dollars.” He spat, begrudgingly leading the two into his living room, which was decorated with the usual supernatural paraphernalia—candles, already burnt incense that he had grown to loathe the smell of, voodoo shit that he had borrowed from Gamzee despite the fact that they had nothing to do with anything—all coinciding peacefully with his tiny star wars action figures and ancient looking Dungeons and Dragons figurines. He hated how John looked around like his apartment was a goddamn amusement park, his friend who he could only assume to be Dave barely taking a glance. His air of defiance against John gave Sollux that tiny spark of approval he so rarely felt when judging others. But without it the guy was clearly a douchebag.

“Five dollars for both of us?” John dug around in his pocket, pulling out a crumpled ten. Perfect.

“Nope, each.” He held out his hand, taking the bill and shoving it in the warm, linty prison that was his jeans. The back pocket ought to do, as long as he could remember to take it out when he finally cleaned this pair. “Now…”

This was the most difficult part. There were multiple things wrong with offering such a service to the general public as unique as the one he could give—for one, the voices may not even tell him a thing. For another, it might just be so gruesome that he couldn’t bring himself to tell the truth. And lastly, there were the select few who silenced the voices and this thoughts altogether, but it had only happened once to a person who remained a close friend even today. He held out his hand, which John took eagerly. Was this prick seriously that eager to find out how he was going to die? He scoffed inwardly. The asshole even took Dave’s hand with his own free one, like this was some kind of séance. Whatever. It was all for effect anyhow.

“Okay John.” He quieted for a moment, listening, dimly aware that he sounded like a dentist about to calmly perform a root canal. The voices weren’t saying anything good—in fact, it was downright terrifying. But some sort of rage was brewing within him, and he didn’t want to hold back. Not for this customer—after all, he had paid twice the price. Looking up, he delivered the news. “What I’m hearing is multiple stab wounds through the chest just prior to an actual explosion. The perpetrator looks to be someone who had been after you for quite a long time, too. So watch out for that.”

What happened next wasn’t what he had predicted. John looked positively delighted, while Dave continued to quirk his eyebrow like he was trying to communicate with him in fucking Morse Code via the face.

“Wow! That’s really cool. Now do Dave! He’s wanted to do this ever since Karkat told us about it.” John squeezed Dave’s hand while Dave looked as though he would rather be anywhere else.

Karkat had totally betrayed him. Of course he did—he should have assumed as much ever since he saw that it was John who had visited him. Who else would have done it? He looked over at Dave, listening carefully.

Nothing.

“Peacefully in your sleep.” Sollux lied quickly, though he couldn’t help but look at Dave with an acute interest that he had never had for anyone quite so much before. Well, that wasn’t really the truth. But in this wave of depression he seemed to find himself in, anything interesting was the most interesting. John elbowed Dave as if he had called it or something.

“Look at that! Sounds a lot better than me.” John smiled, getting up. “Well, this wasn’t actually our only stop, but I thought I would say hi to Karkat’s best friend before we went anywhere else. Plus Dave should get to know Karkat’s friends too! If my best bro wants to get along with my boyfriend, that is.” Dave said nothing to this, standing up as well and nodding before both boys headed toward the door. Sollux could only take his stony silence as some sort of compromise for the visit. John could talk enough for the both of them, anyhow.

“Well that’s uh. Smart of you, I guess.” Sollux ushered them out the door. Trying to get a little sleep right now would be best, and anything he could do to make that happen sooner sounded like the best option. “See you later, Egbert. Dave.” He acknowledged them both before shutting the door as soon as their feet had crossed the walkway.

Flopping back onto the couch, he sighed. This was going to be the hardest few weeks of his life.


	2. Chapter 2

Just a couple days prior, his entire world had been flipped upside down.

Okay, so maybe that wasn’t true. It wasn’t like he was the Fresh Prince of Bel Air or something. But it was pretty bad—and ever since it happened something in him made him feel as though if he had never answered Karkat’s texts, things would have been okay. It was a ridiculous notion.

Looking down at it that fateful hour he remembered feeling annoyance at the grey caps text.

CALL ME, FUCKASS. THIS IS IMPORTANT.

Fine. Sollux could do that, so he did, pressing a couple buttons and holding his phone to his ear, pretending that he didn’t have Karkat on speed dial like he did every other time he called him. It only rang once before Karkat picked up, and immediately began to talk without saying a quick polite hello. Not that Sollux expected one—with Karkat, it was all business.

“Hey man. Something just happened.” He said, and he actually sounded excited. Angry-excited, something Sollux was quite familiar with, being Karkat’s best friend.

“Finally. I thought you would never remove that hideous growth lodged in your ass.” He replied dryly. Karkat made a small noise of rage before managing to ignore Sollux’s jab. He could hear his breathing on the phone, more persistent than a stalker’s.

“Egbert—John, you know him.” The way he spoke about him made Sollux’s skin feel flushed with sudden anxiety.

“Yeah?” He tried to sound calm, though it just came out as though he sounded…interested. Damnit.

“I asked him out man. He said yes. I can’t fucking believe it.” Karkat sounded like a skirt flipping middle schooler. Sollux couldn’t help but grip the phone harder, mashing a couple buttons in the process. This couldn’t be happening. But of course it would, and he should have known, but instead he felt like an imbecile.

“Oh.”

“Oh? Really? Fuck man, this is a momentous fucking occasion and all you have the decency to say is oh? Your wit proves to be the dominating feature of the conversation as per usual!” Karkat’s anger only made it worse. Usually he appreciated it, because it meant he was passionate, but now it was a stab to his already wounded gut.

“Sorry, I mean that’s great dude. I have to go though. We’ll talk more about it later, okay?” Sollux tried to even out his voice as best as he could, hanging up before Karkat could reply with something even more scathing.

So. Karkat, his best friend, had finally gotten himself a date. That was good for him. But not good for Sollux.

Not when Sollux had been crushing desperately on Karkat for the last seven years.

Crushing felt like such a juvenile way to describe it, but it felt like the only way that was appropriate. It wasn’t as though he was in love, or spent every other waking moment thinking about how he could make Karkat’s life just a little bit less shitty with the motivation of his feelings. It was about how he wanted him to himself and his douchebag allure wasn’t ever going to allow that.

It had been a full seven years that Sollux had refrained to tell Karkat his feelings, even going out with a girl or two in an attempt to forget about him. Neither really worked—of course not, not when they were nothing special and Karkat remained his best friend, even when Sollux accidentally blew up his computer when he spilled soda on the hard drive, or when Karkat nearly killed him when recklessly playing with toy swords the summer before they started high school.

There were so many times when he thought about telling Karkat the truth, confessing to him his deepest feelings, so many versions of the same mind play developed over and over again. It was always so dramatic in his imagination. Sometimes Karkat said yes, and sometimes no. Often Sollux would feel like he was going to go insane if he didn’t, no matter the answer.

But now it was too late to do anything.


	3. Chapter 3

School, for Sollux, had become more annoying than anything. It wasn’t that he was having trouble with classes—not even close. For the past two years he had made it on the dean’s list and stayed there with solid grades. He was smug about it, though not to his roommates, neither of whom seemed to really care. But to people like Karkat or various female admirers, it was much too easy.

However; it was the female admirers who added to his general annoyance when it came to classes. Really it was just one in particular, someone who he had readily accepted at first—but soon he had come to loathe her attention. It wasn’t even her fault, he felt like he had lead her on, but at this point it had become more of a distraction than anything.

Of course, as soon as he sat down in his first class of the week--computational evolutionary biology—there she was. The bright and beaming demeanor had been something of a stimulation so long ago, but now it mismatched his sentiments so terribly that she now served as nothing but a reminder of the juxtaposition between her life and his. In other words, her life was great, and his was crappy. And he hated it.

“Hi Sollux!” She giggled, setting her books down heavily beside his and immediately getting comfortable in the next seat. The auditorium was full of plush fold out theatre seats that were perfect for napping in.

“Hey, Feferi.” He smacked his lips tiredly, stretching and collapsing down into the soft warmth that enveloped his ass. Feferi giggled at this. She always giggled. He groaned, and she wasn’t even perturbed as she opened her notebook and began formatting it for notes. He still couldn’t believe she didn’t just use a computer.

“You know what? I might need your help on some of this after class. I’ve been struggling with the material since last week and our professor just says what the book says…” She clicked her pen thoughtfully. Something about it made Sollux’s eye twitch. “You explain things so much more clearly! You should teach this stuff.”

Sollux snorted. Teach? Then what the fuck was he in class for? To do more class? Her logic escaped him.

“Yeah, no…I didn’t really get it either.” Another lie. Something had gotten into him lately, apparently. He groaned as the voices swarmed, their ancient professor having entered the room, walking to the podium and tapping the microphone. At least Feferi had the common decency to shut up during the lecture, or he would never get any sleep.

Except he only just noticed a shock of blonde hair above one of the seats. Blonde hair that he had before tuned out, but now recognized almost immediately. He sat back up, leaning forward a bit and squinting, not even minding that the people in front of him had noticed his breathing in their ear and were quietly making faces at him.

It was that Dave kid. He wanted to talk to him more—or at all, actually—get to know him a little. There was always something special about anyone who could make his voices stop. He got peace, for one. And for another, it usually meant that he had something to do with the concept of death as well. Sollux needed to find out.

The entire rest of class, he tapped his foot, waiting for it to be over. The hour seemed to drag on forever, the voices weighing heavily in his thoughts. When the professor finally adjourned the class, Sollux was up, practically clearing Feferi in his effort to escape the muggy darkness.

Once outside he followed Dave stealthily. He had a strong awareness that his behavior was creepy, but he didn’t give a shit. He had to figure out how to talk to this kid, one way or another. He followed him for two blocks down the middle of campus, trying to think of a good conversation starter for someone with whom his first meeting had been more than lame.

Before he could think of something good, Sollux was frozen in his tracks. It was that Egbert again, always blocking him. Cockblocking him. Though this particular excursion was not necessarily guided by his cock, he felt it necessary to view it that way nevertheless. John threw his arm around Dave, who seemed not to react, as if expecting it. Sollux watched for a couple minutes until they turned the corner, out of sight. There was no way he was gonna talk to either of them now.

Sollux sighed. Backtracking, he eventually found his way out of the apartment, realizing he would have to come up with a plan to get to know this Dave guy without his Egbert attachment. As he sat around and waited for his roommates to come home, he flipped open his phone, staring at the numbers. Finally, he hunched over in defeat, dialing Karkat.


	4. Chapter 4

“Dave!”

All Dave wanted to do was get back to his apartment, but fate had planned otherwise. As soon as he thought he had veered from his usual route a sufficient amount, there he was: his best friend bounding toward him. He pursed his lips when he felt John’s arm around his shoulder, but the derp didn’t notice, smiling and laughing and whatever the shit he wanted to do as he accosted Dave with the day’s events. Annoyed college students ferried them both off of the sidewalk and to the benches under the trees as John wielded his phone at him.

“So today Karkat sent me this text. It’s so fucking funny, I can’t believe how angry he gets when I make fun of how often he swears.” John’s voice faded in and out as Dave sighed, sitting down in what he thought of as defeat from trying to escape from this very thing that was happening—this very thing that he used to enjoy so much, but now only served as a knife through his chest that every day drove itself deeper. “What’s the matter? Usually you’re all over this ridiculous shit.”

“What? Oh yeah.” Dave adjusted his shades and pretended to be interested in the group of girls passing in front of them. It was a really nice day, even if his shitty mood demanded that it rain. “Karkat is totally off his handle. That rocker is nowhere to be found, man.” Dave spouted meaninglessly. At least the words flowed around John, who frowned. There were only two people who could tell when Dave was upset, and John was one of them. He hated that now.

“Dave…” John looked guilty. Dave asserted to himself that he should look guilty, though there were plenty of other Daves in his own mind telling him this shit was his own fault no matter what way he looked at it. There was no way John could have known, not with the way he was.

“What.”

He looked out at the building he had left. Distantly, he could see Rose and Jade entering the building of their next class. Usually Dave hung around them until class had started. Maybe they had gotten tired of waiting.

“I know I talk about Karkat a lot…” He paused, looking torn. Dave felt a prick of irritation at John, as he did so often now. “But I’m going to…he’s my boyfriend now. You have to get used to it.” He blushed, Dave watching John expressionlessly through his sunglasses. Something in him simply couldn’t take what he was saying. Standing up, Dave turned to face him, leaning toward the ebbing flow of students.

“Can’t do this anymore, man.” He took a breath. His frustration was getting to him. Without John, it was hard to speak well. “Gotta take a break. You don’t get it. Just don’t fucking talk to me.” The look on John’s face only added to the hurt. But where John had Karkat, Dave only had himself.


	5. Chapter 5

When Sollux got home the next day he noticed his roommates were there too, relaxing on the couch together as they usually did. He had been having a hard time reaching Karkat and it was frustrating him. The smell of pot hit his nose, only faintly, since he always asked them to smoke on the balcony. The stuff gave him a headache—though he still wasn’t clear as to whether that was actually caused by the smell or his own assumptions.

“Hey!” Tavros looked at him, smiling. Tavros was one of the few people who didn’t annoy the shit out of him. Sollux almost smiled back. Gamzee looked as though he was sleeping, though one could never tell.

 

“Sup, guys.” Sollux dropped his bag near the table and flopped down next to them. A space program was on. That was new. “Mind if I flip around?”

 

“Not at all.” Tavros snorted when Gamzee pressed a finger to his chest and made a beeping noise. Sollux rolled his eyes. Gamzee was a bit more of a handful, but at least his insanity was stifled when he was high. Though with the ups came the downs, and as Sollux picked up the remote and changed it to the science-fiction channel, Gamzee straddled Tavros and began his usual routine of weed-induced molestation. “Not right here!” Tavros tried to push him off, failing as the larger of the two pressed his lips to Tavros’ neck. Briefly Sollux had visions of joining them in some sort of fucked up make-out threesome, wondering if their relationship was open enough for another person. What the fuck was wrong with him? He turned up the volume, ignoring these thoughts.

“If you guys are gonna do that, you should go to a real bed, preferably one with no one sitting on it trying to watch Stargate.” Gamzee was halfway through pulling off Tavros’ shirt, but at Sollux’s comment Tavros shoved it back down and put a hand over Gamzee’s mouth.

“You’re right, sorry.” Tavros breathed, apologetic. Sollux tried not to watch as Tavros squirmed out from underneath Gamzee, pulling him toward his bedroom, Sollux looking right through them both as they crossed in front of the television.

Sollux relaxed, stretching out his feet and wriggling his toes. Even when his favorite reruns were on he couldn’t stop thinking. The television only really served to drown out the thoughts that weren’t his own so he could concentrate on those that were. And right now, his head was full of Dave. He tried not to feel completely ridiculous for thinking so much about someone he hadn’t even talked to.

His phone rang again. Fishing it out of his pocket he didn’t even look at the number before pressing it to his ear.

“Sup.” He found his lisp was coming full blast today. Lovely.

“Hey, asshole.” It was Karkat. Who else but Karkat called him, anyway? “John’s all upset about something that happened with him and his fuckass best friend, I guess they got in a fight or some ridiculous shit.”

“What a shame.” Sollux felt no pity. “And his best friend is?”

“Dave. You met him when they came over. Sorry about that, by the way.” Karkat’s voice was infuriatingly sarcastic.

“Fuck you so much for that.” He rubbed at his forehead.

“Whatever. Anyway, John says he’s the fucking DJ at some club, or like, that he’s going to dance there…I don’t know, who the fuck cares, but John wants to go tonight to see him to make up.”

“Why the hell should I care?” Sollux muted the television, his exasperation clear in his tone of voice.

“Shut the fuck up and listen, dumbass!” The pitch of Karkat’s voice went out of control whenever he was frustrated. “He wants me to come but if he and Dave are going to chit chat the whole time, I don’t want to stand around by myself like some shitty loser. You gotta come with me.”

“There’s no way in fuck I’m coming with you for that shit.” Sollux groaned.

“Yes you are. Stop whining and get dressed, we’re coming to get you at six. Gripe some more and I’ll strap you to the fender so you can catch bugs with those ridiculous teeth of yours.”

“Why get me to when your derpfuck boyfriend does it on a regular basis, asshole?”

“Get the fuck dressed, lazyass. See you later.”

“See you.” Sollux angrily hung up, the pros and cons of the event weighing on his mind. If he got to talk to Dave tonight, it might be worth it. He had to sometime, had to figure out what was with that kid, why he was the only living being able to give him the bliss of silence without even knowing it.


	6. Chapter 6

The club was loud and smelled like a pharmacy. A really sweaty, hot pharmacy. Sollux didn’t know whether to be disgusted or turned on as he navigated the crowds with Karkat, and both could see Dave was indeed the DJ, lording his skills over his festering subjects. John looked lost and worried. Karkat looked annoyed and misplaced. It was strangely satisfying.

After a while John said something to Karkat, who nodded as he left the two friends to stand awkwardly amongst the wiggling, jiggling crowd of dancers. Sollux felt more than disgusted as he kept getting bumped by a particularly large man with personal space issues and a perspiration problem. Looking over he realized it was Equius, accompanied as always by his close friend Nepeta. That explained a lot of things.

Looking over Sollux saw that Karkat was attempting some form of dancing, and Sollux got the worst idea in his head. It was both the best, and the worst, and no matter what perspective it was looked at from he was a horrible person. John wasn’t around, so who cared? Sollux lifted his hands over Karkat’s shoulders, sliding them so his palms fell down his back. He pushed their waists together, foreheads bumping. Karkat looked surprised but not unwilling, something that he found to be unexpected as well.

No one really looked over, or cared. Karkat seemed wary, but fuck if he knew how Sollux felt. He hadn’t seen it for years, there was no way something like this would tip him off. He could smell his breath—minty, like the gum he started to carry around when he was with John. It was a sore reminder. Karkat would most certainly clock him if he tried to close the short distance between their lips, so for now he settled for their strange rhythm, waiting for him to break it.

Eventually Karkat pulled away, beckoning Sollux to the bar and asking for water. Sollux felt strange without an alcoholic drink at such a club, but he accepted the drink anyhow, finishing it in several large gulps. Karkat looked slightly perturbed but Sollux ignored it.

“So where did John go?” He asked, loudly in Karkat’s ear.

“To the back room. He knows the people who work here, so he’s just gonna wait for Dave to finish up.” Sollux nodded and they waited what felt like forever for the music to end.

It took them a while to realize that Dave had actually put up music as some sort of intermission while he took a break, and barely any time passed before John returned to Karkat’s side, looking even more upset than he had been explaining the situation to Sollux on the car ride to the club. Sollux sympathized with Dave, and couldn’t deny that he had thought about quitting any contact with Karkat while he dealt with things, but knowing his best friend, it would probably take more effort than it was worth.

“Let’s go, man.” Karkat held John’s hand and pet Sollux’s shoulder, and he followed them to the exit, but stayed the door as he breathed in the cool night air.

“I’m going to hang around, you guys.” Sollux stopped Karkat and John before they could go much further. “It’s been a while since I got out of the apartment. Don’t wait up, okay?”

“Seriously? How the fuck are you supposed to get home?” Karkat’s scowl was back full force. John said nothing, no expression on his face whatsoever. The contrast between this and what was normal for John was unsettling.

“I’ll figure it out. Equius was in there, worse comes to worse he’ll drive me.” He slipped back in before Karkat could protest further. He was so close, all he had to do was catch Dave at the right moment and they could talk. He thought of a way to catch his attention as he merged back onto the dance floor, becoming one of the many tangled, sweating club inhabitants as he waited for time to pass.


	7. Chapter 7

Dave was back up on stage and Sollux didn’t have the least bit of interest in dancing. He didn’t have any interest in asking Equius for a ride, either. No—not only was the idea of driving home with someone so large and pungent repulsive, but the fact that he would have no ride unless he forced himself to find a way to talk to Dave and convince him to take him home was motivating in and of itself. It was no short distance back to the apartments he lived in. He hoped that Dave wasn’t enough of a douchebag to ignore him just for having a connection with John. Dimly Sollux realized he didn’t even know the blonde’s last name.

Sollux hung around the bar near to where the doors leading backstage were, resisting the urge to order a drink. He and alcohol did not go well together. It did things to him.

The next hour and a half were the longest, most boring of his life. Once again hyperbole ruled his perceptions, and he had to admit to himself that it wasn’t so bad when compared to the boring lessons of his professors. The music even drowned out his own thoughts—and those of the others. It was interesting having such a strong beat take over the environment.

Finally Dave seemed to come to a stopping point, and Sollux was right at the bottom of the stairs that lead down from the stage, trying not to look too eager or conspicuous, just enough. He had never felt so awkward—which wasn’t saying much, since he didn’t feel awkward very often. Egbert’s presence had swiftly changed that.

People started to follow each other through the exits, and Sollux felt that it was safe to hop up on stage as Dave packed up his things. He was immediately noticed, and he waved a hesitant hello before taking a second to look over his turntables. He hadn’t a clue how they worked and he didn’t really care. Dave looked at him with an expression that made him feel as though he couldn’t be less welcome.

“Hey uh. I’m not here on Egbert’s behalf or anything. Those two blew the joint hours ago. I uh…stayed behind because I liked the music.” It wasn’t really a lie, though it certainly wasn’t the truth. “But since they left I don’t have a ride.”

Dave considered him for a few moments. What kind of a douche wore shades inside? Sollux couldn’t help but notice that they suited him. The DJ hoisted up his box of records and shoved them into Sollux’s arms.

“Here.” He said, and that was all he said, as he tucked one section of his equipment under his arm and lead him outside.

Sollux didn’t mind helping him load up his car with his things, hesitating a bit when they were finished but relieved when he saw Dave gesture him toward the passenger side of his ancient looking Mustang. He hoped it would stay together as he got in, and it sounded, at least, like it ran smoothly once it was started up.

Half of the drive was silent. Or more than that. Sollux had stayed for so long, and for what? Apparently it was to spend most of the drive coming up with a better way to phrase ‘Hey, sorry to bother you, but you for some reason have the ability to silence the voices inside of my head and I would like to know that reason.’ Sollux wanted to smash his head against the dashboard but he was certain that it would piss Dave off somehow in such an old car that was probably treasured in its day.

“So…” Sollux looked over at him, noticing a splash of freckles over his nose, “What exactly made you so pissed at Egbert?” He felt suddenly self conscious of his lisp, praying to whatever powers that existed that he wouldn’t accidentally spit. Dave just shook his head and rolled his eyes. From the side, he could actually see them—and he thought he saw red. Weird. “I mean, it’s not like it was a bad idea. I haven’t been able to stand Karkat since they hooked up.”

Dave seemed to sympathize with this, and the statement drew a ‘hm’ out of him, but otherwise he stayed silent. Sollux was beginning to feel like making this guy talk was harder than pulling teeth. The kind of teeth that sat in the back and rotted just long enough to make the procedure as miserable as possible. He pondered over whether this was one of Dave’s ways of getting the ladies, knowing the mysterious silence was one of the easiest ways for someone handsome enough as him to get attention, though he didn’t understand his angle if he was trying to do it to him.

For the rest of the car ride no conversation existed except for Sollux’s occasional attempts at small talk, which must have sucked because they elicited nothing from Dave. What an asshat.

“Listen…” he finally piped up as they turned on the last street before his apartment. “I’ve been kind of waiting to talk to you about something. It’s really important.” Dave raised an eyebrow, his expression deadpan. “It’s not about John.”

They pulled into the parking lot, and Sollux pushed his glasses further up the bridge of his nose before bringing his hand back down to play with his fingers. Dave was still not saying anything. They sat, for a moment, the car still humming quietly as his new acquaintance appeared to be lost in thought. Eventually he leaned over, digging out a piece of paper and a beaten up looking pen out of a pocket beneath his radio, writing something on it and handing it to Sollux.

PC: turntechGodhead

Sollux blinked, processing what this was and realizing that Dave used the Pester Chum version of Trollian, which was much lamer in his opinion, but nothing too different. It just meant that Dave wasn’t badass enough to use Trollian or tried a little too hard not to let his douchebag show. Maybe John had too much of an influence over him. Either way, he pocketed the slip, nodding to him and opening the door, at least glad to escape what had to be the worst car ride he’d ever been on.

“Uh. Thanks, man.” He gave the coolkid a little wave, getting out.

“Yeah.” Seriously? What kind of a response was that? Sollux sighed, uttering a short farewell and shutting the door, which had barely fallen closed before Dave had driven out of the parking lot and down the street. Maybe he’d be more talkative later—but Sollux was seriously beginning to doubt his willingness to get to know the guy, grumbling as the voices flooded back to him full force, a macabre reunion in Dave’s absence.


	8. Chapter 8

The next morning Sollux woke up with an attachment. It was long, and lanky, and smelled like weed. Not being the first time he’d woken up like this, he knew to be cautious. And to perhaps enjoy the warmth of another human being’s touch against him like he’d been denying himself for so many years. But when he could smell Gamzee’s breath as it traveled over his ear he knew it was time to get out.

It only took him an extremely ginger minute and the motivation of the fact that he had been reduced to the little spoon to free himself from Gamzee’s grasp and roll out of bed. At least once he had gotten his own apartment he had the good sense to get himself a queen sized mattress instead of the puny twin he had dealt with up to then. Gamzee grumbled in his sleep and rolled over, Sollux wondering exactly how he had managed to find his way to a bed at all.

It being Saturday meant two things, that Sollux had one important thing to do and all day to do it. He scratched himself and stretched, surprised when he saw that it was only nine in the morning. Classes had started to make him into a night owl, but he supposed that passing out right at midnight would result in a relatively earlier morning start than usual.

In the kitchen Tavros had helped himself to a bowl of cereal and was reading quietly at the tiny, round table that they had shoved in the corner. Sollux turned on the coffee maker and began making his usual breakfast of peanut butter and honey toast. Cereal didn’t even come close to his genius nutrition.

“Hey Tav.” Sollux yawned, flopping down at the chair beside him and sandwiching the loaded pieces of toast together. “Your mohawk looks like it’s becoming a fauxhawk.”

“Yeah…I haven’t shaved it in a while. Gamzee hid the electric razor and I haven’t actually tried finding it yet. He says he prefers it when I grow it out.” Tavros shrugged. He had a faint blush on his cheeks and Sollux sometimes wondered if it was a permanent feature.

“Speaking of which, your clown ass boyfriend is in my bed again. Any idea how that happened?” He raised an eyebrow at Tavros, who looked bashful.

“He might have wandered over to your room late at night. I think he’s a sleepwalker. It’s…really hard to tell.” Tavros was absolutely right about that. Gamzee was difficult to describe in any way, aside from being a little fucking scary every once in a while. He vaguely wondered how someone like Tavros ended up such good friends—or whatever they were—with someone like Gamzee. “I stayed up reading last night, so maybe he was just looking for someone to hold on to. He can’t sleep very well if he doesn’t have that.”

“So are you guys together or what?” Sollux interjected with a mouthful of gooey, sticky sweet toast. If everyone in his life was pairing up, he at least felt that he had the right to know. The only thing pacifying him of such likelihood was that his roommates seemed to come as a set when he met them.

“I-I uh…” Sheesh. If Tavros didn’t know, then fuck if he ever would. “I think so.”

“That’s good. You should probably learn to keep your boyfriend away from other dudes, then.” Sollux finished off his breakfast and pulled his laptop toward himself, opening it up and trying not to feel bad at inciting such a pitiful expression in his friend. After a few seconds of mucking around and avoiding Trollian he spoke again. “You’re really the only one that deserves any attention he gives, anyway.” He felt considerably better when Tavros straightened up, smiling at Sollux for such a sappy compliment.

After a short while he pulled up his favorite trusty chat client, biting his lip before adding Dave’s name to the chumroll. It stayed grey, and he breathed a sigh of relief, leaving the client and shutting off his computer before Karkat could log on to talk to him. He had somewhere to be, anyway. It was probably more prudent to leave early, unlike normal, when he would show up at night. But at this time of day it would probably be peaceful.

While he showered he thought about what he might say to Dave, trying to decide on anything that might not drive him away with the first few sentences. Obviously Dave cared somewhat to have given him his chumhandle—hopefully it wasn’t a fake—so he probably shouldn’t have much to worry about. Maybe he was the kind of guy who believed in the supernatural He snorted at the thought. It didn’t seem likely.

Showers were the only guaranteed moments of privacy Sollux got to enjoy in his apartment, since the lock to his room didn’t work and he didn’t want to ask Tavros to trade with him. Usually he used the time to jack off, but over the past couple of days he felt too sickened at the prospect of getting off to his newly-taken best friend to really have a heart in relieving himself. Reluctantly he took a hold of his dick, trying his best to summon something sexy enough that might carry him through to the end, but the shower had already gone on too long and he could honestly care less if he even got it up. It used to be so important.

He got ready quickly, keeping an eye on the sleeping stoner on his bed as he shucked off his towel and shoved his boxers on as if his life depended on it. He didn’t want to turn his back on him while he was this vulnerable; glancing in the mirror to make sure he hadn’t messed up his hair too much from putting on a shirt. As if he actually cared.

It took almost no time to get to the front door, waving a short goodbye to Tavros and heading out on his weekly visit to the cemetery.


	9. Chapter 9

It was misty. Out of all the cliché things the cemetery could have been doing, it had to go for the gold, which is what Sollux would have given it in the cemetery Olympics. Briefly, he realized that he should wake up early more often, he was clearly missing out on a lot of ingenious thoughts before noontime.

 _Hello, Sollux._

“Hey…I missed you.” It wasn’t hard for Sollux to find the appropriate grave marked with the name of his long since passed friend, Aradia. She had died when they were thirteen. There were many reasons for Sollux to feel guilty about it, and he felt them all. Every day.

 _Come to visit again, I see? You’re very diligent._

It was quiet with her. It was always so quiet…in a graveyard of people who were no more than bodies, it was peaceful. Rested. Aradia always waited for him, though. She was his escape from the voices of the living, of the soon to be dead. And in the microcosm that was their universe, everyone was soon to be dead.

“You always talk to me like that, like one day I’m just gonna stop coming like you’re a nursing home patient…” Oh god, he couldn’t finish that metaphor. It was much too depressing.

 _But you will, sooner or later._

“You don’t know that.” Sollux could never outright lie. After so many years, it was hard to imagine her aforementioned diligence staying a part of his weekly routine.

 _Your life is just beginning, Sollux. You can’t be stuck brooding with the dead if you’re to flourish with the living._

“I’m not brooding.”

 _You’re brooding._

“Can’t I just visit and for once not have to talk about this kind of thing? Maybe I just want to see you. Or…well you know.” Sollux laid back on the plush grass of Aradia’s grave, closing his eyes and trying not to think about Dave. If she knew, then she would insist that he would never need her again. The idea was both freeing and heart wrenching.

 _I only do what I need to for you._

Sollux groaned. It was he who owed her so much. And she didn’t even seem to mind being dead.

 _Tell me about him._

Goddamnit.

“Dave. Some…self absorbed DJ who’s friends with Karkat’s new boyfriend. He’s really not worth it. I don’t know why I even bother.” He rolled over onto his belly, the mist starting to clear. Minus point five for awkward landing, cemetery. “He won’t talk, but…”

 _He makes you feel normal, right? Or rather, what normal is supposed to be._

“I guess.”

For a moment things were silent. So silent…he could have slept a little more. He thought about what it might be like to hug her one more time. He always thought about it when he was here, that and the fact that upon death Aradia went from her adventuresome self to someone so transcendent…like she knew things he didn’t. Being dead probably gave you a lot of answers.

“I miss you.”

 _You've already said that._

“I know.”

If he could have, he would have curled up and stayed there the entire day. Sometimes he felt like she could move wherever she wanted, but stayed there to make it harder for him to get to her. It was like she wanted him to move on. But he couldn’t, not yet.

He closed his eyes and listened to the birds.


	10. Chapter 10

It took him an entire week to get up the courage to talk to Dave online. Previous conversations with him had not been very encouraging, but curiosity and some need he couldn’t quite identify forced him to wade through his bullshit long enough to click on his chumhandle when it turned red. Of course he had to realize he didn’t even know this guy’s last name before he started to type.

TA: hey dave, iit'2 2ollux.  
TG: oh wow you have one of those fucking quirks like your friends huh  
TG: damn well i guess that makes sense with your lisp and i dont know whatever the shit else you have going on that makes you type like that  
TG: anyway took you long enough youre like the tin cans on the back of a wedding car dragging your ass to talk to me  
TG: whats the matter are you nervous  
TG: you have every right to be

Sollux was taken aback. Dave was…talkative.

TA: well ii gue22 you're a lot more talkatiive onliine than ii antiiciipated.  
TG: damn straight i am and for good reasons too  
TA: pray tell, what miight tho2e good rea2on2 be?  
TA: your onliine per2onaliity doe2n't quiite correlate wiith your offliine 2elf.  
TG: i dont know if i want to tell you that shit yet  
TG: its personal  
TG: how about you tell me what the fuck is up with your so called important news and we will see just what i divulge  
TG: give it to me straight doc is it the clap

He was really talkative.

TA: ii wouldn’t know about any sexually transmiitted dii2ea2e2 you may have contracted over what ii’m 2ure were many e2capade2.  
TA: but ii can tell you why ii wanted two talk two you.  
TA: iif youre wiilliing two bear wiith me here.  
TG: ill bear with it for as long as i can  
TG: be thankful ive given you my precious time  
TA: ii am. thank you.

Sollux resisted the urge to slip in an insult, aware that Dave should probably feel comfortable talking to him if he wanted to be taken seriously. Damn, this was gonna be awkward.

TA: iim not 2ure how two tell you thii2, 2o iill ju2t giive iit two you 2traiight a2 you reque2ted.  
TA: when egbert dragged you over two my apartment two fiind out how you diie, iim not really 2ure iif you actually beliieved that ii could really 2ee how a per2on diie2.  
TA: but iit ii2 2omethiing ii can do.  
TG: so what you just wanted to convince me that your shabby fortune telling gig is real  
TG: i dont do advertising dude fuck if im gonna tell my friends about your voodoo magic  
TA: you know what, nevermiind.  
TA: 2ee you around ii gue22.  
TG: wait dude  
TA: what.  
TG: that wasnt why you wanted to talk to me right  
TG: if i knew you scared so easily i never would have given you my chumhandle in the first place  
TG: then again few can handle talking to me so i guess i should have known  
TA: 2o are you goiing two lii2ten two me or what?  
TG: depends on how well you state your case  
TA: whatever. iit2 worth a 2hot.  
TA: what ii do ii2nt voodoo magiic. ii cant even help iit.  
TA: the rea2on ii can tell how people are goiing two diie ii2 becau2e voiice2 of theiir dead 2elve2 tell me 2o.  
TA: at lea2t that2 what ii think ii2 goiing on.  
TG: so what does this have to do with me  
TG: was my death so gruesome you couldnt bear to tell me the truth  
TG: am i dying tomorrow or something  
TA: no. that’2 happened before but you were diifferent.  
TA: you made the voiice2 go away.  
TG: i always knew i was special  
TA: ju2t tell me iif you beliieve me or not 2o ii can deciide iif iim wa2tiing my time here.  
TG: what if i did believe you  
TG: what are we gonna do about it  
TA: try two fiigure out why.  
TA: only one other per2on can do iit and 2he’2 dead.  
TA: iif ii know why, iit miight get me one 2tep clo2er two gettiing riid of the voiice2 altogether.  
TG: hmm  
TG: i might be willing to help you  
TG: if only because i dont have annoying egbert ass crawling all over me lately  
TA: thank2.  
TG: yeah well youre lucky im bored as fuck without him  
TA: what happened wiith you guy2?  
TG: thats none of your business  
TA: okay, well are you goiing two tell me why you’re 2o freakii2hly talkative on PC then?  
TG: i suppose i could divulge that information since itll make it easier if were gonna start talking normally  
TG: have you ever heard of apraxia  
TA: no.  
TG: its this thing i have that makes it hard to speak right  
TG: my brain says the right words but when they come out of my mouth theyre fucked up and switched around and its just easier not to talk  
TG: ive taken speech classes and shit but ive gotten pretty used to shutting up unless its around egbert but even if im pissed its like i go back to square one  
TA: that 2uck2.  
TG: in a way yeah it sucks balls  
TG: but being quiet lets me observe better  
TG: get to know people  
TG: you really hate egbert dont you  
TA: that2 pretty obviiou2.  
TG: interesting  
TG: i wonder why  
TA: iit2 not important. really.  
TG: its okay dude i already know  
TG: do you think i couldnt see you dancing with karkat last week  
TG: these shades help me see past the blinding lights into the crowd  
TA: fuck. you mu2t thiink iim 2ome kiind of boyfriiend 2tealiing a22hole.  
TG: not at all  
TG: though i dont get what you and john see in that fuck  
TA: there2 more two hiim than you thiink. but iit2 not liike ii blame you for doubtiing hiim.  
TA: he ii2 a huge 2hiithead.  
TG: glad im not the only one to see that

Sollux ended up talking to Dave until he had to leave for his gig at the same club he had worked at the week before. Dave was surprisingly easy to talk to, and once he got past the fair amount of insults and homoerotic subtext, he thought that maybe he had gotten lucky to find someone who ended up so strangely open to his weird shit and casual sarcasm. For now, things were looking ever so slightly up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys don't think I hate John or Karkat. I LOVE THEM. Sollux and Dave just have so many feelings. Angry feelings.


	11. Chapter 11

Dave’s fingers slid over his turntables easily despite being so distracted. Sollux’s news hadn’t really surprised him—it wasn’t as though he knew what was coming, but he could see the logic in what he had said. He was fairly certain he knew why he had the affect he did on Sollux, but as far as how he could make it last, he had no clue what he could do.

He was alright though, Dave kept repeating to himself. He could tell that Sollux was under stress from his various affairs, which he had learned a lot about only an hour ago. He half expected to see him at the club, but he could tell he wasn’t the kind of guy to populate his gigs. Unless those star wars figurines at his apartment were his roommates, he was definitely unqualified. Not unlikely, but unqualified.

The night was a long one with his preoccupations. John was included in the mess, and he would sooner bleat like a goat and piss all over his turn tables than think of John excessively, but it always happened, and doing such things wouldn’t make it stop. His chest hurt when he thought of his best friend and Karkat together, being happy together, without him. He needed John. But John didn’t need him. For a few moments he became ashamed of the fact that his speech classes only worked around the one person who seemed to be causing him the most torment.

Maybe it was best if Sollux was around, to be a distraction. It sounded like a good plan. Maybe if he told him why the voices quit, then Sollux would know what to do. Or not. But like he had told him, it was worth a shot.

Once the night ended Dave packed up his stuff, having brought a hand truck after realizing how much less time it would take with one. His pocket buzzed with a text message. Picking it up he saw it was his sister, Rose, and the very possibility of talking to her could not have come sooner. He stopped everything, not even walking out the door to see what she needed.

Jade told me you had a new friend.

not sure what youre talking about unless thats her dream premonition shit acting up again

I think that’s what it is, actually. She also told me that you and John have been having issues.

damn straight we have been but i dont want to talk about that shit

Why don’t you call me? We can figure things out.

theres nothing to figure out but whatever ill call when i get home

Dave pushed his way through the door and almost immediately saw that something was wrong. His equipment was everywhere, shattered, broken plastic and loose buttons all over the place. And of course, blood. He looked upon the scene with disdain. His actual equipment was right on his handtruck, safe and sound, while he himself tried to find any sign of the body. He put away his things quickly in his car, following the trail of debris to the nearest dumpster. Of course, how original.

It was some sort of morbid fascination that Dave always had to find the body. Even though eventually it faded, and looking at the equipment around him he saw that the reality of its existence was already beginning to atrophy. He ran to the dumpster and flipped the lid open, laying eyes upon yet another one of his own corpses.

It never looked painless, he thought, watching himself evaporate in different sized pixels. There was always a stab wound directly through the chest, and the most gruesome expression he could ever make. He stayed until the last of him was gone, sometimes wishing he could actually be there for once, thinking maybe he’d like to have someone hold his hand when he was killed. But that probably never happened—in fact, he decided never to do it, just in case he came along two tragic corpses of himself holding hands.

Once he was home he listened quietly for his roommate, Terezi, but her rakish cackling was nowhere to be heard. Occasionally Terezi stayed somewhere else, and he supposed this was one of those nights. He dialed Rose’s number quickly and pressed the phone to his ear, flopping into bed.

“I thought you’d never get back to me.” So casually sarcastic as per usual. Dave sighed, readying himself for a difficult conversation. Rose managed to relax him enough to where he could talk normally, but occasional slip ups weren’t unexpected.

“I found another one. The asshole dumped me. Literally.” He could practically hear Rose’s thought process through the phone. He hoped Kanaya couldn’t hear them talking.

“At least the frequency of the bodies seems to be slowing down. I think our perpetrator has started to realize the futility of his efforts.”

“I would have thought the dillhole had realized that shit long ago. Maybe he just likes skewering me once in a while. A sick hobby kind of.” Dave groaned. “Kind of a sick…you know what I mean.”

“I don’t see how skewering you would get him anywhere other than off at this point, I’d have to say. But that’s not what I wanted to talk to you about, remember? Tell me what’s going on with John.”

“I told him to fuck off for a while.” Dave managed, though the thought was already providing the mental blocks to his tongue, and he managed to slog through the sentence without damage. Rose could probably tell, though.

“So you’re too frustrated with his new relationship with Karkat, is that it?” She always managed to save him just in time.

“Yeah.”

“And I’m guessing you’re not in the state of mind to thoroughly discuss it.”

“Yeah.”

“Then how about Sollux?”

“Nothing big. Voices.” He closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Might help him.”

“As per usual I am set with the challenge of completing the puzzle with the vaguest of pieces you’ve given me.” She sounded amused. Dave was not.

“Deal with it.” He spewed. Phrases were always easy. Sometimes he thought about basing all of his dialogue off of catch phrases he’d grown used to but the effort was rarely worth it.

“The voices are what interests me the most. Perhaps I can talk to him about it one day.”

“Doubt it.” This was getting more difficult. He needed sleep, and Rose wasn’t doing anything at all to keep his mind off of everything that was stressing him out. Not at this time of night, right after seeing himself covered in blood in a dumpster. Next time he would stick with pesterchum, but lately Rose barely let him on it.

“I can tell you’re ready to go to bed. We’ll talk more later, alright? Goodnight, Dave.”

“Night Rose.” He hung up, tossing his phone onto his night stand and pushing his glasses up far enough to rub his eyes. Falling asleep like this was becoming a bad habit but he did it anyway, thoughts of Sollux and John leading him into a fitful slumber.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One day I'll stop being lazy and bother to format these. :I And the plot thickens.


	12. Chapter 12

Sollux invited Dave over the next weekend, having been slammed with too much homework over the week to really do much. Dave seemed more than happy to, which pleasantly surprised Sollux, and he asked that he come over sometime after lunch. It turned out to be the worst time to ask him.

As he sat at the kitchen table Sollux watched his roommates nervously, glancing at the clock on the stovetop and trying to knead the worry from his eyebrows. Gamzee was in bad shape, as per usual, and Tavros was fussing over him, making things worse. Sollux knew there was little he could do to make it better.

“C’mon man, I don’t want that fuckin’ shit in my body. Shit’s mad motherfucking poisonous.” Gamzee’s voice had a terrifying edge to it when he wasn’t high, and it had the uncanny ability of stressing Sollux out. The muttering in his head grew to a volume he almost couldn’t stand, and he was too scared to tell it to shut up. Dave would be here any minute.

“Gamzee, doctors actually prescribed this to you.” Tavros was nearly in tears. “I smoke it with you. It’s not poison. You know it helps.”

“Naw, man. It’s unnatural. I ain’t doing it anymore. _Fuck that_. I’ll deal with the pain. It’s better than rotting my brains out, not even knowing what the fuck is even going on.”

“Please, Gamzee, until they figure out what’s causing it…” Sollux swallowed when Gamzee clutched Tavros’ arms, his movements frighteningly quick. He could hear a sharp intake of breath.

“I don’t want to be with you when I’m like that. I want to be with you when I can see shit clearly. Don’t you get it? I want to _know_ you, Tav. I don’t want to waste what we have getting high all the fucking time.” It was tense. Sollux desperately wished that he could melt into the walls and travel back into his room all while simultaneously trying to forget everything he heard.

“Gamzee, that hurts.”

A knock. Sollux breathed a sigh of relief. The shouts and moans were becoming deafening, and he was at the point where he might as well pass out, his functionality at an all time low. Getting up as quickly as he could he answered the door, and upon seeing Dave, a comfortable silence settled in.

“Hey.” Dave gave him a little wave. In the reflection of his shades he could see Tavros and Gamzee watching them, and from behind him Sollux heard him give a little start.

“Dave!”

“Hey, Tavros. How’s it hanging?” Turning around Sollux could see Gamzee had let go of Tavros’ arms, hopefully before Dave had seen. He looked murderous. But with Dave there, when he was able to tune in to his aura, Sollux heard nothing. Just pure, unadulterated peace.

“Really good! H-Have you been doing well at that DJ job you told me about?” Sollux hadn’t any clue that Dave knew Tavros. This was news to him, though Gamzee looked more than annoyed.

“Yeah man. You should come around sometime, I’ll even let you spin the turntables a couple times if you’re good.” Dave leaned against the doorway as if he owned it. Sollux might have believed him, too.

“Oh _fuck_ no.” Gamzee muttered under his breath. Tavros looked around at him, putting a hand over his and leaning in a little closer.

“Gamzee…why don’t you come back to our room with me. We can…relax.”

Gamzee looked at Dave, then back at Tavros. After a few moments, he got up, begrudgingly following Tavros into their room.

“See you bro.” Dave called after them, Tavros giving a little wave before they were out of sight. Dave looked at him, or at least he thought he did, and Sollux felt himself begin to breathe normally. “So, we staying here, or what?”

“Not after that. Let’s go.” Sollux plucked his keys from the hook next to the door and ushered them outside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Easiest chapter to write. Also my favorite so far. Ehehehe.


	13. Chapter 13

Sollux wasn’t sure where to take Dave, but anywhere was an improvement from his apartment. It was still strange having Dave so silent around him, compared to the now numerous times they had talked on pesterchum. It was easy to get to know him that way. Being around him in person was more of a challenge—not so much because he needed him to talk, but because he wasn’t used to carrying a conversation. Dave didn’t seem to mind a bit.

“Do you have anywhere we could go?” Sollux asked, blinking in the bright, warm weather. Summer was getting close. He was relieved, even if it meant the smell of foot odor during class and the occasional sweat stain. Dave seemed to ponder this for a moment, finally speaking up when they had reached the end of the block.

“My place.”

“Well, you’ve seen mine, so I guess this is only fair, do you have insane roommates that are terrifying and invasive too? Or are they normal like Tavros?” Sollux didn’t exactly feel good badmouthing Gamzee, but he had become frustrated with him lately, especially for how much trouble he was for Tavros. Dave made a small breathy noise that sounded like something of a laugh.

“You’ll see. She’s in the middle.”

Sollux was surprised at how close Dave’s apartment was, and approaching it he could see it was a nice building in comparison to his own. He felt a tiny spark of pride in his rooming; it may have been dingy, but it was his.

Dave barely had to open the door before Sollux knew immediately what he had meant by in the middle. Sitting on the kitchen counter with a bowl of fruit on her lap was Terezi, slurping down a vine of grapes before turning her head toward them. Sollux never knew how she could do that when she was blind.

“If it isn’t my favorite coolkids, and in the same room together!” She hopped down, replacing her position with the fruit and walking toward them. Goddamn, did Dave know everyone he knew? Terezi hugged him tightly, and he reluctantly hugged back, thinking that invasive was the perfect description for her.

“Coolkids, huh? Both of us?” Dave smirked and raised an eyebrow as he flopped down on the couch. After dislodging him from the girl latched around him Sollux joined him, taking off his shoes and pulling his knees up to his chest to discourage further touching.

“Yeah! Sollux was the coolest guy I knew in high school. He was the hacker, or whatever we called him, and all the ladies crawled all over him. More than you could get if you wanted to, Dave!” She laughed, borderline hysterical at her own allegation.

“Luckily for you, I don’t go for the ladies.” Dave said slowly, his voice a cynical drawl. “So you’ll never know how wrong you are.” His speech was halting, almost like Tavros’ in places. But Terezi ignored this completely.

“I’m sure you’re right, Strider. I gotta get to work, though. See you two later!” She grabbed her bag and was headed out the door before Sollux could say anything more—not that he had a chance in the first place. When she left Dave stretched out onto the footstool, taking off his shades and rubbing his eyes. He realized, with a small shock, that they were red. How had he never noticed that before?

“It’s fucking awesome with you around, you know.” Sollux sighed. “I only get to feel like this when I’m at the cemetery.” He nudged Dave’s elbow. “Thanks.”

Dave nodded, still smirking.

“So maybe we can figure out what’s so special about you, Strider, and then take the obvious route of ridding me of my ailments forever.” He smiled at this, hoping that it wasn’t laying it on too thick for Dave.

“Yeah, actually, I…” He pulled out his phone, turning it on. “think I know.”

“Woah.” Sollux leaned toward him. “Seriously? Already.”

 

Dave nodded, shifting much closer to Sollux and beginning to type on his phone. The text came out clearly, and he figured that if he were to explain, it was probably easiest like this. He leaned on the back of the couch, a bit on Dave’s shoulder to see his fingers flying over the tiny keyboard on the touch screen. Dave glanced at him for a moment as they touched, but said nothing of it.

when i said i always knew i was special i wasnt lying  
theres something about me that probably explains why i make your freaky death voice shit go away  
but even i dont really get how it works so bear with me here

“Alright.” Sollux nodded, moving himself to get comfortable.

every once in a while i find myself dead somewhere having been killed by some asshole with a sword  
i have no clue who this guy is but thats not even the point  
i think whats happening is that im part of some universe where i dont make mistakes  
but frequently i converge with parallel universes where i do  
ive come across my bleeding body seven times now and every time it kind of evaporates  
theyre all the same though so i guess someones out to get me

Dave stopped typing and looked at Sollux, who looked back at him, their faces close. He could see his eyes through his shades at such a proximity, and he could tell he was serious. He had never heard of this before.

“But if you keep running into your dead selves, wouldn’t I hear the voices more strongly around you?” Sollux puzzled, wondering why neither of them moved away. Dave smelled good from so close. Immediately after his question he began to type.

no man im the one that gets to live  
its like im the version of myself that narrowly avoids these messes  
so basically im invincible

“I see.” This was a lot to think about, and not very encouraging when it came to a permanent fix. If he could only somehow convince Dave to follow him around, then things would be easier. Though even with other people the voices weren’t quite silent, only if he tuned into Dave and only Dave could he enjoy the spiritual solitude. Almost as if he understood Dave tapped out another message.

i know this doesnt really solve your problems  
im sorry man

In that moment Sollux felt the burden of everything bubbling up in his chest. Being able to think so clearly also enabled him to become overwhelmed with his own thoughts. It was like a carrot was dangling before him and he couldn’t reach it no matter how close he seemed to get. The ordeal of having to go back to his roommates and especially his failure with Karkat made him dizzy with anxiety. What was he supposed to do? It took him a minute to realize he had been clutching Dave’s shoulder tightly.

“Oh god. Sorry.” He let go, and Dave shook his head, taking off his glasses and setting them on the side table. In his face he saw an expression of understanding, both of them knowing they were supposed to meet, but not yet sure what they were supposed to do for each other.

“It’s okay man.” He murmured. They were still close, getting closer, and Sollux knew he would do nothing to stop them.

Their lips met, in a hurried and almost desperate kiss, and in the contact Sollux could feel the weight of the world resting on Dave’s shoulders as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ....:D


	14. Chapter 14

Dave’s hands were quick when it came to disrobing him. In fact, he was down to his boxers when he suggested that they move into the bedroom just in case Terezi came back. There were two choices warring in his mind, the one telling him to stop it now, and the heavyweight telling him to continue no matter what the fuck happened. His neglected cock wasn’t going to let him choose the former.

It was surprisingly awkward in places. Dave didn’t say many things, just small grunts, maybe yet another breathy laugh that Sollux was quickly growing fond of. Dave spent most of the time teasing him, and the last few minutes sucking him off as he stroked himself frantically. Sollux hadn’t ever had anyone down there before, doing the things Dave did to him, so he tried not to be embarrassed at the fact that he barely lasted five minutes with a mouth on his dick.

Then it was over, and both of them had come, Dave crawling up to Sollux’s side and not even bothering to put himself back into his pants as they recovered. He wanted to be ashamed. He _willed_ himself to at least be a little bit ashamed—but it didn’t come. He tried to gauge how shameful Dave looked, but found a tired expression instead, the blonde on the verge of a nap.

“Was that…a bad thing, that we just did?” Sollux rested his hands on his chest after pulling his boxers up just enough to where he wasn’t hanging awkwardly out of them. It was so quick. Not like the movies Karkat insisted on showing him—oh god, Karkat would murder him if he knew he had done this. Not even like the hundreds of pornos he had watched before. It had literally taken out fifteen minutes of his life. It took him longer to jack off alone than this had.

“Not sure. Do you think it was?” Dave muttered, eyes half-lidded, red irises almost shocking against the neutral tones of his skin and hair.

“I…don’t know.” Closing his eyes, Sollux rolled onto his side. “I guess this is one way to say sorry.” Now it was his turn to smirk. “I didn’t know you were into me like that, man.”

“Me neither. Kinda just…suddenly…needed, uh, it.” Dave sat up.

“Karkat’s gonna kill me.” Sollux scratched at his neck, sitting up as well. “Should I go?”

“Only if you want to, man..” Dave reached up to touch his own face, then put his hand back down, as if realizing just then that his shades weren’t on. Sollux wondered if that was an invitation for more of what they had done together. “Let me know. About everything.”

“I think that I will go. And I’ll tell you as soon as I can if I think of anything…” He put on his pants and shirt, “…but if you want, we could hang out just…you know. As friends. Or whatever we’re supposed to be now.”

“Haha. Yeah. We can do that.” Dave seemed to be drifting, and Sollux pushed the door open, looking at him one last time before slipping out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fffff


	15. Chapter 15

Sollux had to visit Aradia again. It wasn’t even a Saturday, now he wanted to see her just to see her, to sort through all this confusion and maybe find answers. Aradia may have been vague, but she always seemed to know what to say, whether he wanted to hear it or not.

On his way to the cemetery he started to observe things more, within himself and otherwise. He was trying to look for change, as losing one’s virginity often caused—according to all the shitty romance movies Karkat put him through—yet he felt nothing different. At least, aside from the incessant urge to visit Dave and do it again. He quelled the thought, knowing Aradia would see right through him…but maybe he wanted her to.

Though, as he approached the familiar grave, the voices strengthened. None of them were Aradia’s. And Sollux did the only thing he could think of doing—he panicked.

It was strange, calling out Aradia’s name in his own mind, looking around as if he might see her, a living sentient being simply hiding behind a tree, giggling. But she was nowhere to be found, and the voices washed in as though a levy had broken. He kneeled on the mound before her tombstone, the years unmarked for reasons that he never found out. He read the name as if it might help him retrieve her.

ARADIA MEGIDO

The carved letters, empty, reflective, held nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAND I'M BACK. Sorry it's so dang short! I hope it's dramatic enough to make up for it's length. Future chapters coming~


	16. Chapter 16

Thirteen years old was hardly a good time for Sollux to suffer the death of his friend.

Having known her for most of his life, Aradia was like a sister—though unlike any family he actually chose her, making their relationship that much more important to him. In elementary school, when Karkat was so often relegated to time out for various crimes against his classmates, Aradia had always been there to keep him company. When Karkat was back, however, she always seemed content in running off, independently exploring the playground with more enthusiasm than anyone. Sollux admired her ability to embrace solitude in the face of schoolyard adversity.

He didn’t take it well when certain classmates started to tease them for hanging out, in a world where boys only made friends with boys and girls only made friends with girls, Sollux and Aradia were different in the eyes of their peers. But it made Sollux upset, every time someone made up a new rhyme about them. He was especially crushed when Karkat called her his girlfriend, in a tone that made it clear that he meant it as an insult. He went home that day, flopped onto his bed, and cried.

It never stopped his friendship with her though. Aradia was more of a support than anyone had ever been, and he kept her around—as she did with him in her own life. Sometimes he felt guilty for unloading his problems and attitude onto her, but when he apologized, she refused to accept it. He learned to give her a lot more credit than others.

The only time Sollux had ever been genuinely nervous around Aradia was Halloween when they were twelve. Tavros had suffered an unfortunate injury at the hands of their classmate, Vriska, which left him with a bruised self-confidence and a pair of broken femurs. Aradia had exacted revenge on his behalf with a rigged Ouija board party that ended up frightening Vriska along with a good half of the kids attending her haunted house, and even though all was well afterward with candy being passed out as an apology, Vriska never really looked at Aradia the same way.

Sollux should have known that he would be the vessel for Vriska’s hatred.

He didn’t like to think about the night Aradia died, despite the fact that it was his most vivid memory. It had been raining, and he had been riding his bike around—back during the time he felt like he had free reign of the neighborhood, when he would pretend that if he rode fast enough, he could escape the people inside of his head. It never worked, but the feeling of zooming down the empty streets behind the abandoned business complex was a feeling of freedom in itself. At least it was half the time.

Eventually Sollux came to rest behind the only edifice that had a large, extending roof, enough to shield him from the rain while he waited for it to die down. He had come a long way, at least to his twelve year old eyes, looking down the street that he normally rode down to visit Aradia, half expecting to see her walking down to greet him. But he hadn’t told her he’d be over, and he usually had to call first if he wanted to hang out.

Distantly he heard the crunch of gravel, growing nearer to his resting spot. The gait sounded small, a little too quick for Sollux to be worried about being cornered by someone big and scary. To his surprise, Vriska appeared, carrying a Gatorade and halting in front of him.

“Hey.” Sollux greeted her uncertainly. They didn’t talk much, and Sollux had learned to be wary of her and her recent interactions with Tavros. He was quickly learning the finer details of what he would only describe later as a perfectly fucked up relationship. Vriska smiled widely when he spoke, holding out a bottle of water.

“Long bike ride, huh? Do you like rain or something?” Vriska spoke as Sollux took the water, twisting off the cap.

“Yeah.” He looked at the water for a minute, contemplating. “What are you doing here?”

“I dunno…I come here a lot. Sometimes I see you, but I guess this time I thought I should say hi…I come here to read ‘cause it’s so quiet compared to home.” She didn’t seem bothered by what Sollux felt might be a personal bit of information.

“I didn’t know you read.” Sollux leaned forward on his bike, not really meaning it as an insult, though by the look on Vriska’s face, she was taking it that way.

“Sure I do! I like to read a lot of stuff. My favorite are books on psychics.” Vriska replied defensively, crossing her arms and tapping her foot.

“Oh, I don’t know any stories about psychics.” Sollux knew enough about real life shit that he never felt he should deal with fictional stories concerning them. He took a sip from the water, smacking his lips. It tasted strangely sweet…like something familiar that he couldn’t put his finger on. Vriska smiled suddenly, and he stared at her, raising an eyebrow.

“Not stories, silly. Nonfiction stuff. Like…How-to manuals.” Her grin was appearing more malicious by the second, and something in Sollux’s stomach did a flip as he dropped the water and backed away on his bike.

“I think I gotta go now—” As he tried to speak his throat seized up, his ears full of nothing but a windy, screeching sound. Looking over at Vriska he could see she remained as calm as ever, and panic began to set in as his vision seemed to close in on either side. She approached him, and he could feel his limbs moving contrary to his consent, getting off the bike and standing as he seemed to fall unconscious. Vriska’s grin was terrifyingly wide as he tried to focus on her words.

“Nap time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey! sorry to keep you guys waiting again. don't worry, this will be seen to its end. <3


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